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Laura
17 February 2008 @ 12:34 am
It's been awhile. I got laid off from the law firm. Have yet to find a real job. I had to go to court to fight unemployment. I lost. I moved to long island and got an apartment with Billy. We live with Fozzie.


He likes to eat underwear.


Now I work at Ciao Baby till I find something I want to do. But I got a part in this movie musical, so I can't really find a job till after that anyway. I just hate waiting tables.
 
 
Laura
30 July 2007 @ 10:43 am

Excerpts from: 


Aliens Don't Do Drugs
The best anti-pot ad ever.


The spot: A cartoon guy and gal are hanging out in a crudely drawn landscape. The guy puffs on a joint and exhales a jet of smoke. "Not again," says the disappointed girl. Suddenly, a UFO descends from the sky. A small alien emerges and walks over to the couple. The guy politely offers the alien a toke, but the creature declines—and at this, the girl swoons. We see the alien and the girl fly off together in the spaceship, leaving the jilted stoner alone with his thoughts.

"Casting an alien as the guy who sweeps the girl off her feet, while the stoner feebly looks on, eliminates the need to decide what sort of person the girl would be likely to find more appealing than a pot user. Having her new suitor be a drug-free preppie (or jock, or musician, or whatever) would be fraught with all kinds of peril. Not so with an alien—because aliens are always cool."


"In a separate spot, a pot smoker's dog asks him to quit. (I'll just note here that I've never, no matter how blazed, been addressed by a house pet.) When the smoker declines, the dog strolls away, muttering, "You disappoint me."





All I have to say is if house pets don't address you frequently, you are smoking the wrong shit.

 
 
Laura
17 June 2007 @ 11:47 pm
I hate Lauren. She made me realize how poor I am. I have enough money to keep my apartment. I'm having no trouble taking my paycheck and paying my rent and having enough money to still do things without going into debt... But I'm not saving a damn thing. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, every month finally getting my checking account nice and juicy, then out if goes!  Poof! So Lauren told me she's worried about me. How can I afford my rent and food in this city? And then I thought about it. I'm moving to California in May. And I'm not going to have any money saved up to do this. And Billy doesn't worry about things like I do. He just says, "It'll work itself out." Well I'm worried. What if it doesn't? So my parent suggested I move home till May. I mean, I could save atleast 15 grand. I'd still have to pay for train and food (since my mom doesnt ever have any in the house). It's a longer commute, but I do start work at 10 am. But fuck, I will kill myself. I'll be miserable. And my mom will steal my dog after she gets used to having hm there. Billy suggested we move into his parents den. It's a feasable plan I guess. And they would feed us. Then Fozzie Bear would have dogs to play with. And I could get a second job at Caio Baby and pull in 500 a weekend too. Scary that this seems like a good idea. I started to cry before I was so overwhelmed. So Lauren, I hate you... But you'll visit me in Lindhurst, right Ren?
 
 
Laura
09 May 2007 @ 12:12 pm
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?- Jean Cocteau
 
 
Laura
04 May 2007 @ 11:24 pm
Monday I graduate from Tisch. Thursday I graduate from NYU. Next monday I start my new job as a legal secretary. After that...

- Find a bigger apartment
- Take an LSAT class


Scary. I'm an adult and shit.
 
 
Laura
21 April 2007 @ 01:24 am
I got a job. I got a job. I got a job. Hey Hey Hey Hey!
 
 
Laura
15 April 2007 @ 11:55 am

"Our Prejudices, Ourselves"

AMERICA is watching Don Imus's self-immolation in a state of shock and awe. And I'm watching America with wry amusement.

Since I'm a second-class citizen -- a gay man -- my seats for the ballgame of American discourse are way back in the bleachers. I don't have to wait long for a shock jock or stand-up comedian to slip up with hateful epithets aimed at me and mine. Hate speak against homosexuals is as commonplace as spam. It's daily traffic for those who profess themselves to be regular Joes, men of God, public servants who live off my tax dollars, as well as any number of celebrities.

In fact, I get a good chuckle whenever someone refers to "the media" as an agent of "the gay agenda." There are entire channels, like Spike TV, that couldn't fill an hour of programming if required to remove their sexist and homophobic content. We've got a president and a large part of Congress willing to change the Constitution so they can deprive of us our rights because they feel we are not "normal."

So I'm used to catching foul balls up here in the cheap seats. What I am really enjoying is watching the rest of you act as if you had no idea that prejudice was alive and well in your hearts and minds.

For the past two decades political correctness has been derided as a surrender to thin-skinned, humorless, uptight oversensitive sissies. Well, you anti-politically correct people have won the battle, and we're all now feasting on the spoils of your victory. During the last few months alone we've had a few comedians spout racism, a basketball coach put forth anti-Semitism and several high-profile spoutings of anti-gay epithets.

What surprises me, I guess, is how choosy the anti-P.C. crowd is about which hate speech it will not tolerate. Sure, there were voices of protest when the TV actor Isaiah Washington called a gay colleague a "faggot." But corporate America didn't pull its advertising from "Grey's Anatomy," as it did with Mr. Imus, did it? And when Ann Coulter likewise tagged a presidential candidate last month, she paid no real price.

In fact, when Bill Maher discussed Ms. Coulter's remarks on his HBO show, he repeated the slur no fewer than four times himself; each mention, I must note, solicited a laugh from his audience. No one called for any sort of apology from him. (Well, actually, I did, so the following week he only used it once.)

Face it, if a Pentagon general, his salary paid with my tax dollars, can label homosexual acts as "immoral" without a call for his dismissal, who are the moral high and mighty kidding?

Our nation, historically bursting with generosity toward strangers, remains remarkably unkind toward its own. Just under our gleaming patina of inclusiveness, we harbor corroding guts. America, I tell you that it doesn't matter how many times you brush your teeth. If your insides are rotting your breath will stink. So, how do you people choose which hate to embrace, which to forgive with a wink and a week in rehab, and which to protest? Where's my copy of that rule book?

Let me cite a non-volatile example of how prejudice can cohabit unchecked with good intentions. I am a huge fan of David Letterman's. I watch the opening of his show a couple of times a week and have done so for decades. Without fail, in his opening monologue or skit Mr. Letterman makes a joke about someone being fat. I kid you not. Will that destroy our nation? Should he be fired or lose his sponsors? Obviously not.

But I think that there is something deeper going on at the Letterman studio than coincidence. And, as I've said, I cite this example simply to illustrate that all kinds of prejudice exist in the human heart. Some are harmless. Some not so harmless. But we need to understand who we are if we wish to change. (In the interest of full disclosure, I should confess to not only being a gay American, but also a fat one. Yes, I'm a double winner.)

I urge you to look around, or better yet, listen around and become aware of the prejudice in everyday life. We are so surrounded by expressions of intolerance that I am in shock and awe that anyone noticed all these recent high-profile instances. Still, I'm gladdened because our no longer being deaf to them may signal their eventual eradication.

The real point is that you cannot harbor malice toward others and then cry foul when someone displays intolerance against you. Prejudice tolerated is intolerance encouraged. Rise up in righteousness when you witness the words and deeds of hate, but only if you are willing to rise up against them all, including your own. Otherwise suffer the slings and arrows of disrespect silently.

Harvey Fierstein is an actor and playwright.

 
 
Laura
05 April 2007 @ 08:25 pm
I'm feeling happier now that I get to have a plan. I still don't have a job lined up for May yet but I'm working on it. The law placement agency seemed to like me, so I hope that works out. Getting a salaried position for a change might actually make me able to pay my rent. But if that doesn't work out, anyone know any lawyers needing an administrative assistant or legal aid? NYU graduate who intends on going onto law school in a few years... when she saves up enough money.

I just need to figure out where I'm working so I can figure out if I'm keeping my apartment. If I can afford to keep my apartment. I'd like to move to a bigger/cheaper place on the island or in Brooklyn or Queens, but not if I get a job in Jersey or something. \

I took out my tongue ring for my interview. Bad idea. It closed up in a half hour. Ah well. I'm not really going to miss it. And atleast now my mom isn't pissed about how gross it is anymore. 

I finally broke down and bought my criminology text book I was trying all semester not to buy. My next paper is all on the book. Damnit. Thats 30 bucks I don't have. When they asked why I'm buying it mid semester I told them I left my old one on the train. 

Think I can convince citifitness to let me join till October? Then I'll be able to move and put my eliptical machine in my room. 

Fozzie Bear smells like farts.
 
 
Laura
31 January 2007 @ 08:41 pm
After examining the menu at the restaurant we're going to for Jason's birthday, I applied at the gym and the tanning salon. It bothers me that even with an NYU education I still need to apply to jobs like that. Apparently they don't have part time jobs in law offices. Hopefully I'll find one come graduation. I'm sick of being poor. And not in the sense where I think I'm trailerpark poor or anything. It's just that my other friends have real jobs. They don't still babysit or work sex toy parties. Nothing against babysitting or sex toy parties. I just cant survive on $80 a week. And I just want a real fucking job already. I work hard. My employers love me. I have a great schedule. Hire me goddamn it. I find out Monday if I got the job at the broadway radio station. Sure the pay is lousy but atleast it's something fun. And has growing potential. 

Fozzie Bear needs to stop peeing wherever he pleases. 

So tomorrow I get a new phone. These past few days without one has been really annoying. Pickpocketed this week, flashed last week. I fucking hate this city sometimes. It's so gray and depressing.  But then somedays I'm in love with it... Until someone comes on the subway playing mariachi music when you have the worst headache ever. Or a bum tells you you're going to hell because you didn't give him your spare change and you can see the crack pipe peeking out of his pocket.   

5 weeks till California. UCLA, USD, USC, and UCSD. And whatever else Jacki has planned. It'll be nice to see a real campus for once... with palm trees. 


Mmmm... palm trees, palm trees.
 
 
Laura
09 June 2006 @ 06:36 pm
I remember days in highschool when I would spend the day planning what I would say when I got home to write in my LJ that night. Events would occur and my immediate thought would be "I need to put that on LJ asap". Now I barely ever write, let alone rush home to read other people's as I used to. Most of the people I used to read don't write anymore. So In an attempt at a LJ revival, I will do my best to post, in hope others will follow my lead. Even when they have nothing to say.
 
 
Laura
08 June 2006 @ 11:03 pm
I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life. Oh sure, I have a whole nother year of school left. And It's not like I've ever auditioned for anything real that I can even complain about not getting jobs. It's like I'm not even that eager to find auditions. I convince myself that answering phones for fucking $14 an hour is better for me now, and saving money is the most important thing. Meanwhile some people I know are getting walk-ons in movies, or summerstock and other comparable ventures. And I'm doing none of it. Well why does this bother me so much? It's not like any of these small-time jobs will turn them into a star tomorrow. Yet I still feel like I'm behind. Like I should be out there already.  But no, I tell myself. One more year. Work on the things that you can, save money (By the end of the summer I'll have $9,000 in the bank) keep losing more weight (20 lbs so far). Why am I so utterly miserable about my situation?!?! What else can I do? I sit at my desk at work and think, "God, this sucks. Why can't I just be a movie star already?"  ...Or a screenwriter? ...Or a fucking children's book illustrator? Anything. I don't even know what I want. I just know most of my home friends have a plan. Grad school, auditions, internships, SOMETHING. I feel like If I just had a goal that I really wanted, I could make a path there. I just don't have the energy to push for something I don't want. So do I just pick up and move to Cali after I graduated as per my original plan? Do I go to grad school for film? Or do I take an LSATS class in the fall? I can be poor if I'm doing what I love. But If I don't love it, I'm gonna have to be rich. Where did my ambition go? I think I had so much ambition when I was 12, by now I have none of it left. It all disintegrated bit by bit with each note I passed to Jacki in Spanish class, each tic tac box I finished, and when I stopped spending 2 hours a day on my makeup. When I lost the energy to cake up my face, I lost my passion. And nothing is more sad then a passionless artists, passionlessly creating art. 

Fix me.
 
 
Laura
17 May 2006 @ 10:12 pm
American Idol pisses me off. Aren't "musicians"/popstars/whatever the fuck you call em, supposed to be cool? Or drugged up atleast? Or atleast not a greyhaired ugly guy or a dweeb who in my 10 minutes of watching him eerily reminded me of my creepy ex-bf? Atleast the chick is pretty. No one cares if she has talent. This is what America wastes its time watching? My mom had it on in the kitchen as I was chasing the pup around. Ryan Seacrest's voice is a papercut making my brain bleed in agony. Just when I thought it had clotted, I saw this years contestants. I thought I was able to hide from it all season. Drat, foiled again. It'll take months to get circulation in that part of my brain again.  
 
 
Laura
10 May 2006 @ 11:31 pm
I got tips on my nails, so typing is a bitch. I got them so maybe I'd stop picking my cuticles till they bleed. So far, victory. But it's only been a day. 

Still waiting to hear from my job. Supposed to hear hopefully tomorrow. I need this job if I ever expect to move out of this hole.

I spent the day cleaning out my closet and my drawers. 4 garbage bags of fishnet shirts, plaid skirts and lowcut blue shirts later, i realized how odly I dressed in high school. All of my Hot Topic garb is gone, except the 2 Muppet shirts I held on to. Atleast now I have room to actually see my closet. And hey, I found Jacki's clothes I was supposed to mail her last summer.

Everytime I talk to old friends, they feel like new again. I feel like I never left. In some cases I wanted that chapter of my life to close, and certain people keep trying to resurface. They didn't do anything wrong. They're still just as fun as they were then. I've changed. And I don't want to be that person again. Hence the spring cleaning.

Will people be home soon??? I need friends.
 
 
Current Music: Stairway to Heaven- Led Zeppelin
 
 
Laura
05 May 2006 @ 01:25 am
So after everything, I end up home. Which for my first 4 hours at home I dispised. But one day in and already I'm thinking it's for the best. Soon Alissa will be home, followed one by one by everyone else. And I'm pretty sure I got a job at Natural Organics this summer. Office work for $14 an hour, better than I expected. If not back at Usdan, which isn't so bad either. I'd just rather make more money and work 4 months and not 2. And my mother is being put down tomorrow. Surgeration and such. So despite her paranoid episodes today, she hasn't been completely difficult to coexist with. She did buy me presents. And due to a crying fit I had last night, she did comment how she is going to "get a new puppy for Amanda" and "will have to get used to not having her around". Of course, to my mom these comments are not binding, and she will deny them completely. But that does mean she is not completely against me keeping her. Her conscience is actually kicking in. (Who knew she had one?) So even if she denies it, It allows me to take el perro when the time comes, with the justification of knowing my mother will not call the cops on me. And yes, that is something she would otherwise do. 

Now all I have to do is unpack so I can get to my closet. Currently 4 dufflebags, a tv, and a sleeping cat is in my path.
 
 
Laura
30 April 2006 @ 12:12 pm
This entry contains TMI. If you don't want to hear it, don't read it...

I've decided I'm not gonna drink or do drugs or anything like that for a little while until I get everything straightened out in my life. The stress I've been having lately has been taking its toll on my skin, my head, my general well being, and now my ass. It used to be that when I got stressed I'd lose my voice for a week. Then I got acid reflux and I'd have burning in my stomach and chest for days. Now I bleed out my butt and swell up like a balloon. 3 nights in a row of massive rectal annoyances, I finally decided give in and buy ice. So last night as Amy is crying in my bed, I had one hand holding an ice cube in my colon.

And you think your finals are stressful.
 
 
Laura
26 April 2006 @ 06:16 pm
I wrote a monologue for an audition next week. It needs to be talking about NYU life. Tell me if it's funny. Or I need to change something. Just give me feedback of any kind.



It’ll never happen to me. I’m much too responsible for anything like that. I’ll be prepared. I’ll never be that stupid. But then one night you lose control. You forget your planning. Throw caution to the wind. Then you wake up on Sunday morning and realize you have no other choice. You have to do what you’ve always dreaded… The walk of shame!!! (Dum dum dum!!!) It’s something every college girl goes through at one time or another.

The best way to avoid the walk of shame is to stay put. No one can see me walk home if I never leave his room. Ever. But the guy next to me is drooling on my cheek. He's passed out with jeans are draped around his ankles, and I don't want to be here when wakes up. No, no need to stick around to learn his name

Shit. What to do? Maybe I can tie my jacket around my waist, mist myself with some Aquafina and disguise myself as an early morning jogger. I’ll make it home and no one will be the wiser. Only problem is the 6-inch heels I wore last night might clash with my attempted ensemble.

Drat. New idea! I live in New York! I’ll just hail a cab. Sure I only live 6 blocks away, but it’s worth it to avoid running in to anyone I know. That’s when I realize I spent my last dollar on a Long Island Iced Tea last night. Well, my last $12 dollars really.

Crap. Oh! My delivery drug dealer! He’ll help me out! He’s an upstanding guy! He owes me a favor anyway; I got him 3 new customers last week. Now where’s my phone?

And as I find my phone I realize it has no charge. I used it all up last night when I decided to text my mom, my best friend, my RA, the boy from my ethics class, and my ex boyfriend from the 2nd grade in a drunken texting frenzy.

Fuck. I wish I was a boy. Boys don’t have walks of shame. They have walks of fame. They take the long way home. They get a marching band behind them. And they ride the vagina float from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade down Broadway. And they don’t even need to walk down Broadway. They live in your building. They enjoy showing off their stench of beer and sex to the world like it’s a medal of fucking honor. “Hell yeah! Look at me! I got laid! Don’t believe me? Smell me! SMELL ME!”

And it’s at that moment when I decide I am never drinking again.
 
 
Laura
25 April 2006 @ 12:49 pm
It's crunch time. The panic of what-to-do this summer is finally setting in. To the point where it's haunting me. Nightmares about choosing between my puppy and staying at NYU. Of course nothing has come up yet. Chances are I won't be able to stay here anyway and my decision will be made for me. Fabulous. A summer of fighting with my mom and carlessness. Of course there is the alternative. Running back and forth to LI for work, of course losing all hope in keeping my puppy. I don't know what to try for because I don't know what I want. And my inner turmoil is causing me to inadvertently jump in front of speeding trucks on 4th Avenue. Amy freaked out. I guess I should sorta pay attention. Maybe.
 
 
Laura
21 April 2006 @ 10:29 pm
I was supposed to be home tonight watching my puppy. Or go out and get drunk with Leigh Leigh. Or go to a baseball game with Ellen and Jeanette. Instead I'm typi ng on livejournal, on a fucking laptop I have no clue how to use. (This mouse thingy sucks.) with 2 smelly boys playing Lord of the Rings videogames next to me. They've been at this for an hour. Before that, we watched My Neighbor Totoro, some anime bullshit with Dakota Fanning. Oh just when you thought anime was as lame as it could be... I feel like chucking this computer out the window and hitting Matt's car with it; a game I found fun before with easter egg whoppers. However they did little damage. Fart. I need a new hobby. And don't say weed. I'm thinking more along the lines of Yoga or something. I'm antsy today. Maybe I should write more often. I'm worried after college my facebook obsession will die like my livejournal one that has been withering away like a lukemia patient since high school. Then what will I do with my time? Bah humbug.

It's time to smash the XBOX.
 
 
Laura
15 April 2006 @ 12:33 am
I know I shouldn't be worrying about this. It is only April, I don't have to actually steal her till September. But It is bothering me now. Bothering me a lot. My mother of course. What else is new. Knows I'm completely capable and willing to change everything for this dog. Knows that I'll have no problem with her. Knows that we got her under the pretenses that she was to be my dog, plus said on video and instant message that she was "Laura's present". However now she's changing her mind. Not because of any real reason, like she thinks I can't handle it, or can't afford it or something. She's just pretending to use that as an excuse. She's even admitted to doing that. She keeps offering to give me a new different dog. But I don't want a new dog. I want MY dog. The dog that we got for me. But now she's in love with it. So she'd break her daughters heart, by taking away her 21st birthday present and the one thing she wants more that anything, so she can have it all to herself. She has her own dog. And her own cat. But that's not enough for her. No, she has to indian-give my dog, because she wants it for her own. So she'll steal it from her own daughter. Does anyone else see how incredibly wrong this is?!?!?


Not that it really matters. Come September I'll steal my dog if I have to. And since my father agrees that the dog is mine, there's really nothing she can do. It's just pathetic we need to have a puppy intervention so my mom can fucking grow up.
 
 
Laura
05 April 2006 @ 12:26 am
You know, Godzilla is really just misunderstood. The poor guy wakes up with a hangover so he figures maybe if he goes for a walk he'll feel a little better with the fresh air...yet as soon as he does these freakin people start screaming. Tell me, what would you do if you woke up hungover and I went up to you and started screaming bloody-murder?

That's right, you'd eat me.

Poor Godzilla.
 
 
 
 

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